The Honor of a Woman

This is a combination of lectures regarding women in Islam.  They are very informational and motivational.. I hope you like it.  A nice reminder is that Islam elevates the status of women through the hadith in which a companion came to the prophet pbuh asking:  Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him, reported: A person came to Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) and said: Who among the people is most deserving my companionship (of a kind treatment from me?) He said: Your mother. He, again, said: Then who (is the next one)? He said: It is your mother (who deserves the best treatment from you). He said: Then who (is the next one)? He (the Holy Prophet) said: It is your mother. He (again) said: Then who? Thereupon he (The Prophet (peace be upon him)) said: It is your father.

Beating the Wife in Islam

The sections of this article are: 1-  Wife beating is not allowed in Islam! 2-  Noble Verses and Sayings that support the prohibition of any type of wife beating. 3-  The Prophet forbade striking on the face. 4-  What about the saying about striking the wife lightly on her hand with a siwak? This saying doesn’t belong to Prophet Muhammad.  5-  More proofs about the translation of Noble Verse 4:34. 6-  Conclusion. Wife beating anytime and for any reason is never allowed in Islam.  There is however a questionable condition where Allah Almighty seems to allow the husband to beat his wife, and that is after he gives her two warnings to stop showing ill-conduct and disloyalty. Let us look at Noble Verses 4:34-36 “(34). Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband’s) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all). (35). If ye fear a breach between them twain, appoint (two) arbiters, one from his family, and the other from hers; if they wish for peace, Allah will cause their reconciliation: For Allah hath full knowledge, and is acquainted with all things. (36). Serve Allah, and join not any partners with Him; and do good- to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, those in need, neighbours who are near, neighbours who are strangers, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (ye meet), and what your right hands possess: For Allah loveth not the arrogant, the vainglorious;” The Arabic word used in Noble Verse 4:34 above is “idribuhunna”, which is derived from “daraba” which means “beat”.  The issue with all of the Arabic words that are derived from the word “daraba” is that they don’t necessarily mean “hit”.  The word “idribuhunna” for instance, could very well mean to “leave” them.  It is exactly like telling someone to “beat it” or “drop it” in English. Allah Almighty used the word “daraba” in Noble Verse 14:24 “Seest thou not how Allah sets (daraba) forth a parable? — A goodly Word Like a goodly tree, Whose root is firmly fixed, And its branches (reach) To the heavens”.  “daraba” here meant “give an example”.  If I say in Arabic “daraba laka mathal”, it means “give you an example”. Allah Almighty also used the word “darabtum”, which is derived from the word “daraba” in Noble Verse 4:94, which mean to “go abroad” in the sake of Allah Almighty: “O ye who believe! When ye go abroad (darabtum) In the cause of Allah, Investigate carefully, And say not to anyone Who offers you a salutation: ‘Thou art none of a Believer!’ Coveting the perishable good Of this life: with Allah Are profits and spoils abundant.  Even thus were ye yourselves Before, till Allah conferred On you His favours: therefore Carefully investigate.  For Allah is well aware Of all that ye do.   (The Noble Quran, 4:94)“ So “daraba” literally means “beat”, or “go abroad”, or “give” but not in the sense to give something by hand, but rather to give or provide an example. Important Note:  Notice how Allah Almighty in Noble Chapter (Surah) 4 He used “daraba (4:34” and “darabtum (4:94)”, which are both derived from the same root.  He used both words in the same Chapter, which tells me that “daraba” in Noble Verse 4:34 means to desert or leave, since that’s what its derived word meant in Noble Verse 4:94.   The next section below will further prove my point. I am sure there are more Noble Verses that used words derived from “daraba” in the Noble Quran, but these are the only ones I know of so far.  In the case of Noble Verse 4:34 where Allah Almighty seems to allow men to hit their wives after the two warnings for ill-conduct and disloyalty, it could very well be that Allah Almighty meant to command the Muslims to “leave” the home all together and desert their wives for a long time in a hope that the wives would then come back to their senses and repent. Noble Verses and Sayings that support the prohibition of any type of wife beating: The following Noble Verses and Sayings from the Noble Quran and Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him respectively seem to very well support the above interpretation: “…Do not retain them (i.e., your wives) to harm them…(The Noble Quran, 2:231)“ Narrated Mu’awiyah al-Qushayri: “I went to the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) and asked him: What do you say (command) about our wives? He replied: Give them food what you have for yourself, and clothe them by which you clothe yourself, and do not beat them, and do not revile them.  (Sunan Abu-Dawud, Book 11, Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah), Number 2139)“ Narrated Mu’awiyah ibn Haydah: “I said: Apostle of Allah, how should we approach our wives and how should we leave them? He replied: Approach your tilth when or how you will, give her (your wife) food when you take food, clothe when you clothe yourself, do not revile her face, and do not beat her.  (Sunan Abu-Dawud, Book 11, Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah), Number 2138)“ Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) as saying: “He who believes in Allah and the Hereafter, if he witnesses any matter he should talk in good terms about it or keep quiet. Act kindly towards woman, for woman is created from a rib, and the most crooked part of the rib is its top. If you attempt to straighten it, you will break it, and if you leave it, its crookedness will remain there. So act kindly towards women.  (Translation of Sahih Muslim, The Book of Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah), Book 008, Number 3468)“ “O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may take away part of the dower [money given by the husband to the wife for the marriage contract] ye have given them, except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and God brings about through it a great deal of good.  (The Noble Quran, 4:19)”  “And among God’s signs is this: He created for you mates from amongst yourselves (males as mates for females and vice versa) that you might find tranquillity and peace in them. And he has put love and kindness among you. Herein surely are signs for those who reflect. (The Noble Quran 30:21)”   “Women impure for men impure. And women of purity for men of purity. These are not affected by what people say. For them is forgiveness and an honorable provision. (The Noble Quran 24:26)“ Narrated Abu Huraira: “Allah’s Apostle said, ‘The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger. (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Good Manners and Form (Al-Adab), Volume 8, Book 73, Number 135)“ Narrated Abu Huraira: “A man said to the Prophet , ‘Advise me! ‘The Prophet said, ‘Do not become angry and furious.’ The man asked (the same) again and again, and the Prophet said in each case, ‘Do not become angry and furious.’   (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Good Manners and Form (Al-Adab), Volume 8, Book 73, Number 137)“ Abu Huraira reported: “I heard Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: One is not strong because of one’s wrestling skillfully. They said: Allah’s Messenger, then who is strong? He said: He who controls his anger when he is in a fit of rage.  (Translation of Sahih Muslim, The Book of Virtue, Good Manners and Joining of the Ties of Relationship (Kitab Al-Birr was-Salat-I-wa’l-Adab), Book 032, Number 6314)“ Allah Almighty loves those who restrain anger: “Those who spend (freely), whether in prosperity, or in adversity; who restrain anger, and pardon (all) men; for Allah loves those who do good.  (The Noble Quran, 3:134)“ The Prophet forbade striking on the face: Let us look at the following narrations about Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him: Narrated Salim: “….Umar said: ‘The Prophet forbade beating on the face.‘  (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Hunting, Slaughtering, Volume 7, Book 67, Number 449)“ Narrated AbuHurayrah: “The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: When one of you inflicts a beating, he should avoid striking the face.   (Sunan Abu-Dawud, Book 38, Prescribed Punishments (Kitab Al-Hudud), Number 4478)”  These narrations do not prove the interpretation that wife beating being ok as long as it is not done on the face, because the narrations are general and do not mention any wives.  The striking could be done on our children when we discipline them.  In this case, the above two narrations would fit perfectly with the situation, because while we can still physically discipline our children, we are not allowed to hit them on the face. What about the saying about striking the wife lightly on her hand with a siwak? There is not a single Saying or Noble Verse from Prophet Muhammad or the Noble Quran respectively that mentions any such beating. A siwak is a small piece of wood that is approximately twice as long as an index finger and as thick as a thumb, which was used 1400 years ago to brush the teeth and the bad breath. This saying actually belongs to Imam Shafie, and not to Prophet Muhammad.  Imam Shafie or Minister Shafie is a popular Muslim scholar that came 100s of years after Prophet Muhammad.  I used to have the reference information to his saying about this subject, but unfortunately I lost it.  When I find it insha’Allah (if Allah Almighty wills it) I will post it. More proofs about the translation of Noble Verse 4:34: The following is an email that sent to me by brother A. Tilling; may Allah Almighty always be pleased with him. From:    ARJTilling@aol.com To:    ISLM4EVR1@aol.com Subj:    Another Reply to Mr O Abdallah Date:    3/28/02 3:16:15 AM Central Standard Time Peace, I have visited the link and it was what I expected.  But the question I am asking is a linguistic one, not one based on interpretations and jurisprudence.  Here again is the extract I provided: >>>>>>> (4:34) […]as for those women on whose part ye fear rebellion (nushuz), admonish them and banish them to beds apart, (and last) beat (adriboo) them. Then, if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Note from me Osama Abdallah:   Actually the Arabic word is not “adriboo” which is a plural for beating men.  It is “idribuhunna” which is a plural for beating women.  But the two Arabic words mean the same thing, which is “beating”. Continuing with brother A. Tilling email…. The key to the problem is the mistranslation of the two key words nushuz and adriboo. Some of the possible meanings for both the words, according to the lexicon,3 are given below. Again, the appropriate meaning will depend on the context of the verse. Nushuz: Animosity, hostility, rebellion, ill-treatment, discord; violation of marital duties on the part of either husband or wife. Adriboo (root: daraba): to beat, to strike, to hit, to separate, to part. In the context of the above verse the most appropriate meaning for nushuz is ‘marital discord’ (ill-will, animosity etc), and for adriboo is ‘to separate’ or ‘to part’.   Otherwise, it is inviting the likelihood of a divorce without any reconciliation procedure.  Such a step would blatantly contravene the Qur’anic guidance shown in verse 4:35 below.  Therefore, a more accurate and consistent translation of the above verse would be: (4:34) […]as for those women whose animosity or ill-will you have reason to fear, then leave them alone in bed, and then separate; and if thereupon they pay you heed, do not seek a way against them. The separation could be temporary or permanent depending on the reconciliation procedure.  Such as construction is legitimate within the terms of the language and fits in very well with the divorce procedure outlined in the Qur’an (see 8.5). The verse following the above verse gives further weight to the above translation. (4:35) And if ye fear a breach between them twain (the man and the wife), appoint an arbiter from his folk and an arbiter from her folk. If they desire amendment Allah will make them of one mind. Lo! Allah is ever Knower, Aware. Added weight to the meanings outlined above is given by verse 4:128 quoted below.   Here, in the case of a man, the same word nushuz is used, but it is rendered as ‘ill-treatment’ as against ‘rebellion’ in the case of a woman as shown earlier in the traditional translation of verse 4:34.  One find oneself asking whether since the ill-treatment is on the part of the husband, a process of reconciliation is here to be encouraged! (4:128) If a wife fears ill-treatment (nushuz) or desertion on her husband’s part, there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves; and such settlement is best[…] This, obviously, is a double standard and the only way to reconcile the meanings of the two verses, in the contexts they are being used, is to accept the meaning of adriboo as: ‘to separate’ or to ‘part’.  In this connection I would like to refer the reader to an excellent article by Rachael Tibbet from which I quote: (a) Qur’anic commentators and translators experience problems with the term Adribu in the Qur’an not just in this verse but in others, as it is used in different contexts in ways which appear ambiguous and open to widely different translations into English.   ‘Daraba’ can be translated in more than a hundred different ways. (b) The translation of adribu as ‘to strike’ in this particular verse (4:34) is founded upon nothing more than: (i) The authority of hadiths (Abu Daud 2141 and Mishkat Al-Masabih 0276) that this is what Adribu means in this context. (ii) The prejudices and environment of the early commentators of the Qur’an which led them to assume that ‘to strike’, given the overall context of the verse, was the most likely interpretation of the many possible interpretations of adribu. >>>>>>>>> Thanks A Tilling Conclusion: According to the Noble Quran and the Sayings of Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him above, wife beating in Islam is definetly prohibited, possibly even in the case where the wife fails after she was warned twice for her ill-conduct and disloyalty. It is definetly a valid interpretation for Noble Verse 4:34 that Allah Almighty commanded the Muslim men to desert and leave their wives, and not to physically beat them as many scholars believe. I personally favor this non-violent interpretation, because (1) It is very well supported in Islam as clearly and unquestionably shown above; and (2) It makes more sense and seems more practical in dealing with the bad wife who insists on showing ill-conduct and disloyalty toward her husband and family. And Allah Almighty knows best, and may He forgive me if I made any mistake here. Please email me at   Osama Abdallah this content was reposted from http://www.islamawareness.net/Wife/beating1.html

Fullfilling Rights of Women in Islam: Fard Kafaya!

Wonderfully said: the Prophet peace be upon him instructed men to be best to their women, and that he was the best example of being best to his women.  Today we can see that this advice has been tossed by the wayside and ignored. However this skeikh calls our attention to the result which will be for sure and a guarantee on the day of judgement for those who oppress and abuse others, especially women and children.  The protection of women as mentioned in this video is an obligation on the community (Fard Kafaya).

Hijab: Fashion or Worship?

Recently the trend of wearing hijab has increased.  Many will think this is a great thing.  However, looking at the interpretations of how hijab can be worn often leaves room for debate and heated discussion as well as disappointment that the meaning of hijab is being lost in this new fashion show.

As a sample, the photo below shows a type of hijab which is very colorful, has added decorations, does not cover the sides of the face, and the woman had matching loud eye shadow and lipstick.  Sadly to say, such hijab is not within the definition of the requirements of hijab. The other photo does not cover the hairline properly and is folded in such a way which shows the neck and jaw line which falls under the definition of the verse below; juyubihinna refers to the “neck slit” of a dress, so that if this is covered it will also cover the neck and bosom.

If we go to the verse in the Quran, Allah has specifically stated that the beauty of the women which is allowed to show is that which appears naturally, in otherwords any shape which may show due to the wind blowing her outer garment against her, or for those who allow the face to appear, the natural skin tone without make up or jewelry.

The hijab is an act of obedience to Allah and to his prophet (pbuh), Allah says in the Qur’an: `It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allah and His messenger have decreed a matter that they should have an option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger, has indeed strayed in a plain error.’ (S33:36).

Allah also said: ‘And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc) and not to show off their adornment except what must (ordinarily) appear thereof, that they should draw their veils over their Juyubihinna.'(S24:31).

Although it is a normal process for those who recently don wearing hijab to start with baby steps and make continuous adjustments as their comfort and iman grow, it is vital that we educate our brothers and sisters about what hijab really means.  Briefly, hijab should meet these criteria:

• Complete Body should be covered. -Except the hands and face. Some scholars believe that the face and hands should be covered. i.e the niqab.

• The chest should be covered. You can find the evidence on Surah Noor (24) Verse 31. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to display of their adornment only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils over their bosoms

• The clothes should not be see through or transparent.

•  Clothes should not resemble the unbelievers, for example other religious artifacts.

•  The clothes should not be too tight that it reveals the figure. The clothes should be “roomy” It should not describe your body figure.

• Do not add perfume to your Hijab or clothing. There is actually a Hadith on perfume: Allah’s Messenger (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) said: Every eye is lustful and when a woman applies perfume and then goes about in an assembly, she is like such and such, i.e. an adulteress. (Mishkat Hadith1065) 

• Hijab should not attract attention, display, or fame. It should not be an adornment itself.

• Should not be so glamorous that attracts the opposite sex.

• A Muslimahs’ clothing, dress should not resemble the clothing of men. ie. the opposite sex. (This also goes for men, they should not imitate women’s dress).

List is from Muslima Matters

 

Fasting Only Fifty Percent

by Asma bint Shameem [iloveAllaah.com Exclusive Writer]

What if you hire someone to do something for you, but they only do part of the job and leave the rest incomplete? Will you recompense them fully for a job completed?

And what do you think a teacher would say if a student turns in only some of his homework and fails to do the rest of it? Will he get full marks for it?

And what about a child who is supposed to clean his whole room, but he only cleans HALF of it? Do you think he did what was required of him? Would you reward him for a job well done?

The answer to all of the above is an obvious NO.

That’s because they did not complete what they were supposed to do and only did part of it. And thus they do not deserve to be fully rewarded.

Similarly, my dear sister, is the case when you fast but you don’t wear hijaab.

Yes, that’s right.

Do you realize, dear sister, that by not wearing hijaab, you are only doing part of the job and not doing whole of it?

You see, just as much as fasting is a fard (obligation) on you, in like manner, the hijab is also, just as equally, fard on you.

The One Who made the FAST an obligation on you and me is the same Lord Who also made the HIJAAB an obligation on you and me.

Allaah says: “And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils all over Juyoobihinna (i.e. over themselves) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband’s fathers, or their sons, or their husband’s sons, or their brothers or their brother’s sons, or their sister’s sons, or their (Muslim) women, or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigor, or small children who have no sense of feminine sex. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allaah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful” [al-Noor 24:31]

And there are so many other ayaat and ahaadeeth that clearly order believing women to cover themselves.

Do you not want to be one of them?

Don’t you want to obey the One who created you, gave you life, food, health, family, friends and everything that you know and don’t know of ??!!

Beautiful Muslim Marriages: Righteous Wives

Most of the post I put up are pretty good, or I would not post them but once in a while I come across one which really means alot and just seems to cover so many points with necessary and accurate information that I wish I had a million sites to upload it to.  This is one such article.  It really covers many points related to the relationship between husbands and wives.  I hope that it offers many answers for those who need this information for their daughters, sisters and even for making their own marriages better by following the sunnah.  May Allah reward this author.

Marriage in Islam

In Islam, marriage is a blessed contract between a man and a woman, in which each becomes “permitted” to the other, and they begin the long journey of life in a spirit of love, co-operation, harmony and tolerance, where each feels at ease with the other, and finds tranquility, contentment and comfort in the company of the other. The Qur’aan has described this relationship between men and women, which brings love, harmony, trust and compassion, in the most moving and eloquent terms:

(And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your [hearts] . . . (Qur’aan 30:21)

This is the strongest of bonds, in which Allah (subhaanahu wa ‘ta’aalaa) unites the two Muslim partners, who come together on the basis of love, understanding, co-operation and mutual advice, and establish a Muslim family in which children will live and grow up, and they will develop the good character and behavior taught by Islam. The Muslim family is the strongest component of a Muslim society when its members are productive and constructive, helping and encouraging one another to be good and righteous, and competing with one another in good works.

The righteous woman is the pillar, cornerstone and foundation of the Muslim family. She is seen as the greatest joy in a man’s life, as the Prophet (SAW) said:

“This world is just temporary conveniences, and the best comfort in this world is a righteous woman.”1

A righteous woman is the greatest blessing that Allah (subhaanahu wa ‘ta’aalaa) can give to a man, for with her he can find comfort and rest after the exhausting struggle of earning a living. With his wife, he can find incomparable tranquility and pleasure.

How can a woman be the best comfort in this world? How can she be a successful woman, true to her own femininity, and honored and loved? This is what will be explained in the following pages:

She chooses a good husband

One of the ways in which Islam has honored woman is by giving her the right to choose her husband. Her parents have no right to force her to marry someone she dislikes. The Muslim woman knows this right, but she does not reject the advice and guidance of her parents when a potential suitor comes along, because they have her best interests at heart, and they have more experience of life and people. At the same time, she does not forego this right because of her father’s wishes that may make him force his daughter into a marriage with someone she dislikes.

There are many texts that support the woman in this sensitive issue, for example the report quoted by Imam Al-Bukhaari from al-Khansa’ bint Khidam:

“My father married me to his nephew, and I did not like this match, so I complained to the Messenger of Allah (SAW) . He said to me: ‘Accept what your father has arranged.’ I said, ‘I do not wish to accept what my father has arranged.’ He said, ‘Then this marriage is invalid, go and marry whomever you wish.’ I said, ‘I have accepted what my father has arranged, but I wanted women to know that fathers have no right in their daughter’s matters (i.e. they have no right to force a marriage on them).’”2

At first, the Prophet (SAW) told al-Khansa’ to obey her father, and this is as it should be, because the concern of fathers for their daughters’ well being is well known. But when he realized that her father wanted to force her into a marriage she did not want, he gave her the freedom to choose, and saved her from the oppression of a father who wanted to force her into an unwanted marriage.

Islam does not want to impose an unbearable burden on women by forcing them to marry a man they dislike, because it wants marriages to be successful, based on compatibility between the partners; there should be common ground between them in terms of physical looks, attitudes, habits, inclinations and aspirations. If something goes wrong, and the woman feels that she cannot love her husband sincerely, and fears that she may commit the sin of disobeying and opposing this husband whom she does not love, then she may ask for a divorce. This is confirmed by the report in which the wife of Thabit ibn Qays ibn Shammas, Jamilah the sister of ‘Abdullah ibn Ubayy, came to the Prophet (SAW) and said: “O Messenger of Allah (SAW), I have nothing against Thabit ibn Qays as regards his religion or his behavior, but I hate to commit any act of kufr when I am a Muslim. The Prophet (SAW) said: “Will you give his garden back to him?” – her mahr had been a garden. She said, “Yes.” So the Messenger of Allah (SAW) sent word to him: “Take back your garden, and give her one pronouncement of divorce.”3

According to a report given by Al-Bukhaari from Ibn ‘Abbas, she said, “I do not blame Thabit for anything with regard to his religion or his behavior, but I do not like him.”

Islam has protected woman’s pride and humanity, and has respected her wishes with regard to the choice of a husband with whom she will spend the rest of her life. It is not acceptable for anyone, no matter who he is, to force a woman into a marriage with a man she does not like.

Beauty of Hijab

How Should a Muslim Husband Behave Towards his Wife

This has got to be one of the cutest videos I have seen in a while.  “Its complicated”