Men, women companions or competitors?
Saturday, 29 January 2011 11:21
By Sameera Ansari | Contribution to Saudi Life
A MAN and a woman, from what I can understand, are made to be each other’s companions, to complement each other and complete each other, right? So where and when did this companionship turn into competition? When did one start wanting to be like the other or wanting to control the other to the extent of suffocating the other.
When we are physically, emotionally and mentally different, why do we work so hard at trying to be like each other or expect one to behave like the other rather than accepting these differences and helping each other where required?
If a man imitates a woman he becomes feminine and physically weak… weaker in fact than an average woman. A
nd if a woman imitates a man she loses her feminine side and the tenderness which is, should I say, a woman’s hallmark.
My husband once said something which rang a bell inside me, an alarm in fact. ‘If you and I act and behave the same way then where’s the attraction? It would be like me being with my male friends. Would you be comfortable if I started behaving like you? Just imagine it and see how repulsive you’ll find that to be.’
Allah made the male and female gender for specific roles in society to nurture a strong and stable environment that brings about stable-minded individuals – men and women.
What we are witnessing today is chaos. Either men are overly dominant or men and women are competing to prove each other wrong in the name of equality. The balance is lost. Where is the companionship that we were created for? Why is there such a great desire to control your ‘better half’ – male or female? Why constantly be at war with that one person who should be the one to provide you the most comfort a human can to another?
So who is responsible? Have men pushed women into a corner with their harsh and unfair behavior where they have no option but to retaliate in whatever way they seem fit or have women simply refused to accept their main role in life as a wife and a mother, which leaves little room to be anything else in the world till responsibilities are lessened to some extent.
Both men and women can point all the fingers they want at each other but the bottom line is: both are losing this battle and are forgetting that one’s loss is the other’s loss as well.
Why can’t men and women work together at creating an environment where both feel comfortable? If one is unhappy, it is the duty of the other to make his/her partner happy. Compromising once in a while can make life simpler and easier. It does not mean that one partner is weaker or lesser than the other.
The reason that the divorce rate is so high almost every where in the world is because no one is ready to compromise.
Why can’t we realize that the role and place of a man and a woman in life is different from each other? One fills up what the other lacks in. Each individual deserves to be honored, respected and loved. And only when a husband and a wife start doing that can they make each other’s and their own life a complete one.