“Why does God lets me go through emotional pain and abuse by those whom I love?”
And two more questions –
“Allah tests those whom He Loves”
Question: – “I come from a Muslim country, yet I neither speak nor understand Arabic, except for Quran, even though I don’t really understand everything I am reading.
I have questions regarding Allah’s interference with a person’s life, both Muslims and non-Muslims as well, and about relationships with others and the concept of Allah’s love.
I often wonder why Allah would let me go through emotional pain and abuse by those men in my life whom I love. The only trial of life I cannot bear is the mistreatment or emotional abuse by men. Yet, it seems to me Allah is allowing these things to happen to me – over and over again. Because of this, I feel I am loosing my faith and have even considered doing away with my life. I need help to understand.
My questions are:
1.) Why does Allah need to give a hard trial in someone’s life to test their faith? Can’t He just make it easy for us? Then we could practice our religion without any worry, agony or emotional torture?
2.) What should be done to a person who has hurt me so terrible in my life? What if the person seems to live on a bed of roses and is enjoying my suffering without being punished or even having Karma coming back to him? When this happens, what does Allah really mean?
3.) Why is a Muslim man allowed to marry non-Muslim women, but women are not allowed to marry from the non-Muslim men? If it is because a non-Muslim man is not supposed to lead a Muslim woman because he might take her to the wrong path, doesn’t this conflict with the idea of each person being responsible for their conduct? What if the non-Muslim husband can accept the way of his wife’s Islamic life and give her 100% support and never interfere?
Please answer to ease my pain.
Thank you for your question.
Before we begin to provide answers, here are some important points to keep in mind; as Muslims we accept what Allah tells in Quran over anything others may say or do. We have our Quran today, just as it was recited at the time of Muhammad, peace be upon him. The hadeeth of our prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, explain the Quran and how to apply its teachings. This is a very unique part of Islam, not available in any other ancient religions. But sometimes questions contain statements that are not true, as in some of what you wrote. This must be cleared up first before attempting to provide answers. Often times, people have told us they found information they never knew before about Islam and its teachings and this helped them to come to a much better understand and able to form better opinions based on this correct knowledge.
If, while reading the answers to your questions, you find yourself saying, “Gee, I didn’t know that” or “This is something good” or “I like this much better now that I understand it” then you are experiencing what most of us go through as we come to learn more and more about our deen of Islam.
This life, here on earth is a “test” from Allah as you have rightly pointed out. The whole idea is whether or not we will worship Allah with all of our heart, mind and soul, or whether we will choose to devote oursleves to something other than Allah.
This what Islam is really all about. The most important subject is the worship of Almighty God, without any partners or associates or “gods” besides Almighty God.
Your questions are similar to those that we hear everyday, not only from the non-Muslims, but also from the Muslims who have not had the opportunity to study and learn the true religion of Islam. This is most unfortunate and sad when you think about it. The Muslims have the solution to the problems that plague the world today, yet they do not even know themselves how beautiful and wonderful is their own religion.
You may ask yourself, “Why?” Why is it that Muslims do not even know the basic tenants of their own religion?
Good question. Simply put; “Material distraction.”
We Muslims today are so preoccupied with making money and increasing our status in this life, that we do not spend proper time in learning anything about our purpose in this life. About this Allah Says:
Do people think that they will be left alone on saying, “We believe” and they won’t be tested? For sure, just as those before them were tested, Allah will test them to show the truthful in their sincerity and expose the liars in their falsehood. [Surah Ankabut 29:2-3]
(1) You mentioned in your letter that you are suffering at the hands of those whom you love. The abuse and treatment of these people against you has caused you to question Allah. This means what? That you know what is better for you than Allah? Maybe not.
You were also correct in mentioning what many others have stated about not having enough knowledge about Arabic and the meansings of the words in depth. There are two important words we often throw around without considering what they really mean. Let us being with these two words.
1> Allah (there is no word in English for Allah. The word “God” is the same as the word “god” only with a capital letter – for more about the meaning of “Allah” visit our site: www.godallah.com
2> Islam (this is not just the name of a religion. “Islam” is from the verb “aslama” and describes our relationship with Allah. For more details visit our site: www.IslamTomorrow.com/word
After you have read and understood the meanings these two words in the Arabic language, perhaps it will then be easier to begin your journey of life in Islam. Until then, you will only continue to be confused and misunderstand your place in this creation of Allah. It is not my purpose here to teach a class on the basics of Islam. However, I would invite you to visit our website on these important issues and then you should write back to me AFTER you have done a little study into the basics of what it is that we Muslims are to believe, inshallah.
Please do yourself a big favor and read . . . READ.
“ISLAM” – http://www.IslamTomorrow.com/word/
“ALLAH” – http://www.islamtomorrow.com/islam/allah.htm
There are many words that must be understood from the point of view of Islam prior to making any judgments about what they mean.
Another important word for us to understand is:
And for a free Quran downloaded to your computer visit: www.islamtomorrow.com/free
After spending some time reading and understanding these basics of Islam, it then becomes possible to continue your studies and begin to ask logical questions, such as; “What is our purpose here in this life?” PURPOSE OF LIFE – www.islamtomorrow.com/purpose.htm
After reading and understanding the above articles, perhaps you will be able to find some very important clues as to what is going on in this life and what we are supposed to be doing. You will still have questions, I’m sure about that. But at least you will know some of the basics and not make the mistake of using terms like “Allah is interfering in your life.”
Please write back to me and let me know if this was of any assistance to you in your search for truth, inshallah. I have also included below a number of very important links for you to check out. We are here for you sister, and you can even come on line and hear us and chat with us for live and rebroadcast programs at: www.IslamAlways.com (follow the links to radio and TV broadcasts)
Salam alaykum, Yusuf Estes
Muslim Chaplain – Washington, DC – USA